you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
