just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
