i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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