I wish I could punch you in the face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
tell me about the fingering
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