Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
