I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Say something about gay babies.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
