There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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