I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
