I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
