I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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