So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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