i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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