I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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