I must be too annoying 4 u.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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