Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
