real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
