I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
