You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
