if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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