just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize