Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
