you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
