Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We had sex on a dog bed..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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