i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
