He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
