I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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