This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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