this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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