I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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