Its about making memories worth repressing
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
