Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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