Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
