my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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