I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize