He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
