My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
