you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
