i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
