Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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