I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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