he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize