I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
