you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
