That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
