Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
