About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
