They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
