I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
