You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
