How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
