Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
