the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
