I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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