after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
