I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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