Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
