i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
