he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize