This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
