So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
