I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
