i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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