this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
