I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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