I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude i'm inner monologue high
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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