I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
