Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
