I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
