i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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