Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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