i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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