I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She needs sedatives and a leash
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
