Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
