Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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