She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
