I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's never too late to be topless.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
