i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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