how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
